You Need to Party More
"Where two or three are gathered..."
The Wedding Feast at Cana, Paolo Veronese
At the time of the banquet he sent his servant to tell those who had been invited, ‘Come, for everything is now ready.’
Luke 14.17
This piece by Ellen Cushing builds nicely on my reflection last week on the surgeon general’s report. According to Cushing, we’re not partying enough.
Simply put, America is in a party deficit. Only 4.1 percent of Americans attended or hosted a social event on an average weekend or holiday in 2023, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics; this is a 35 percent decrease since 2004.
Cushing connects this trend to the crisis in teenage mental health, increased reports of loneliness, and overall life dissatisfaction. Interestingly, Cushing reports that most people want to attend a party, but no one wants to throw one. She concludes her essay by encouraging her readers to throw two parties this year.
Bear in mind that parties can be whatever you want: a 15-person Super Bowl party; a casual picnic in the park with 20 of your pals; an overfull house party, guest count unknown. They do not need to be expensive, or formal, or in your own home. You don’t need a theme, unless you want one. You don’t even need to buy anything, or clean up beforehand, if you’re feeling particularly punk. All you have to do is invite people in.
My first reaction to this essay—and remember, I am a pastor—is to encourage people to go to church and invite others to church. While it isn’t perfect, it is a well-established institution designed to meet people's deepest needs. One of Cushing’s colleagues complained recently, “You can’t just show up on a Sunday and find a few hundred of your friends in the same building.” Except you totally can, and many do. However, Cushing’s broader point is one that we should seriously consider. We all want more social connection, but someone will have to throw the party.
When describing the kingdom of God, Jesus once told a parable about a party thrown for characters who could not have thrown one for themselves. It’s a beautiful depiction of the grace God never tires of giving. In the parable, the party is described as a great feast. But not all parties have to be great feasts to be an expression of grace. As Cushing put it, “All you have to do is invite people in.”
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Ann and I love to throw parties. Most of the time, it is with our four friends in our neighborhood that we got close to during the COVID era. There is also a monthly neighborhood Wine Club for both of us and Bridge Club for me and Book Club for her. From your article today, I will consider this a blessing that we enjoy and be thankful for that.
I found out about your articles from our Men in the Word group at Covenant. It is great to connect with you again, Jon. I hope your ministry is doing well!
Last weeks article and report from the outgoing Surgeon General certainly did remind me a lot of Thomas’s sermon themes over the years regarding loneliness and how to combat it. Keep up the good work!